The House of Twelve

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Posted: 10/11/2006 by: Juan Turlington
An image of excellence.
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

Red Alert!
John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

Having Slept On It (MSU)

First off, I'm not going to deny that I called the game after halftime (I can't anyways, since I sent the email which made it blatantly clear I all but given up on the team), but there is one point I won't concede despite the fact that the Irish pulled of a miraculous victory:

1) This changes nothing with concern to the national championship. Championship teams don't lose the way we lost to Michigan last week. Close losses are acceptable, but getting your butts handed to you on your own turf is unforgivable. I don't care how the rest of the season finishes out, I don't want to see this team in the championship game.

Okay, here are some thoughts over the game...

Brady Bunch
I counted him out of the Heisman talk last week, and I may start to reverse my opinion if he can pull more five touchdown games. He had so much going against him in that second half: a multiple score deficit, terrible wind conditions, heavy rain, and a terrible interior line. Make no mistake that he seemed "off" at the beginning of the game. I'm not sure if this was some kind of hangover from the Michigan game, but he was missing badly on a number of passes that should have been made. Then the gameplan shifts to no huddle and all is right in the world with the exception of the interception returned for a touchdown.

My theory with Brady Quinn is that the no huddle offense seems to settle him down. When they go into no huddle, the game seems to slow down for Quinn. He hits those outs that he overthrew a few series ago and his decision making improves. No huddle is his center. I think we should start every game with the no huddle so Brady and get going for the rest of the game. Once he's centered, he's good to play a normal huddled offense, but I think it's important to get him on track.

I also believe that if the weather wasn't so nasty, he would have had better numbers. Some of his overthrows in the latter part of the game, I think was a result of him trying to compensate for the wind conditions. His read on the Carlson touchdown was fantastic. Read the MSU defense like a book on that play and Carlson had all the room in the world to score that touchdown.

Line Trouble
One of the reasons I'm reconsidering Brady's Heisman chances is b/c he has to overcome the deficiencies of the offensive line. The poor offensive line play works against Quinn and the team two-fold:

1) We can't run the ball. Darius Walker needs holes to be effective and the line simply isn't giving Darius the opportunities to succeed. Darius doesn't have the power running style and the speed to overcome the shortcomings of the offensive line. If we had Adrian Peterson this would be no problem, but we don't. Darius is not a bad running back, but he needs the line to at least give him some help. They haven't and we are one dimensional.

2) Brady has two-three seconds to make a read and get a pass off. Quickest way to the QB is straight down the middle and the weakest part of the line is straight down the middle. I'll admit that I some sort of vendetta against Bob Morton, so I don't know how bad the center and left guard have been, but Bob Morton has been awful. He's been getting beat by defensive tackles and this is about the worse possible pass rush you can allow. The QB has no chance if these three hundred pound monsters are coming full speed at him. You can seriously make a lowlight reel of Bob Morton's play after only four games.

Herbie was baffled during the game as to why this line is so bad. This is a senior line with tons of experience and yet they look so awful. I have no idea what can be done to the line, but the lines are the foundations for offenses and defenses alike. Our offensive foundation is shaky, at best.

Defensive About the D
For all the talk about how bad the defense has look the past couple of games, the honest truth is that they haven't been that bad. Did they give up big plays? Sure, but didn't they hold that potent MSU offense to six points?!? SIX POINTS, that's all that the great Spartan offense scored during the second half. A majority of Michigan's points last week were a result of five turnovers from the offense and special teams. This D is capable of containing good defenses.

There are some great playmakers on this squad, as evidence by Duke's "I want this ball more damnit" strip of Stanton. Ndukwe seems to always be at the right position for those big turnovers. Zibby is Zibby and a second team All American. If the officials would call holding on opposing team's tackles, Victor Abiamiri would be having a monster season statistically. Lambert is totally redeemed himself with the game winning interception return for a touchdown and the game clinching interception. And true freshman Darrin Walls is growing right before our eyes, playing big time minutes in these high pressure games.

The defense needs to be more consistent. They may be lacking in some areas whether it's speed, size, or experience, but if they can play smart and fast, there is no reason that they can't repeat their second half performance against MSU. Just think how much better this defense will be when it's filled with the talent that Charlie and Co. have been recruiting. Don't knock the D, they're not the problem.

Flags of Our Alma Mater
This is going to be my only knock on the officiating, but it's awfully fishy that we're on of the most penalized teams, yet the teams we play against are average a few penalties less than their average. Seriously, it took the final quarter of our fourth game before an opposing team was called for holding? That's ridiculous and like every other Domer is screaming, AD Kevin White needs to change the officiating situation for our home games.

Call It Like You See It
There was some mention of how teams thought the playcalling from our offense was predictable. I think that's hogwash. The playcalling is fine, and I'm from the camp that the execution is making the calls look bad. If a block was made or a pass not overthrown, I think a lot of the shorter drives that we've had this season would have shown us the offense we knew and loved last year.

Give Me Mo'
I'm going to be naive and say that the beginning of the game reflected the fact that the team was hungover from the humiliation of the Michigan game. The fact that they were able to rebound from that and come back against an opponent that has had their number is going to provide an incredible boost for this team. We are going to steamroll through Purdue and the rest of the schedule (up to the final game) with this momentum. This is the boost the team needed and the fact that the next string of games are against weaker oppenents makes it all the sweeter.

Final Thoughts
For all those Willingham comparisons this is where the Weis train makes its detour from the abject failure that was the Willingham era. This team responded to a humiliating loss with a victory instead of a string of disappointing losses. I still feel our team is suspect in certain areas, but considering the level of competition for the next couple of months, we will have ample opportunity to fine tune the areas we are lacking. This game was a turning point for this team and this program. A loss could have been a disaster, but this win may give us the needed momentum to make a run at a season that is "good enough".

Having Slept On It (Meeechigan)

As yesterday's disaster was occuring I was thinking back to what I stated in my preview:

Face it, [Chad Henne] hasn't played well against us, but one blown coverage and a decent pass from Henne and that could be the ball game. With so much focus placed on the Michigan running attack, there will ample opportunities for Henne to exploit single coverage on the speedy receivers. Whether or not that comes to fruition may very well decide the ball game.

In the very beginning of the game with no thought to a deep passing game we more or less dedicated our safeties to the running game and did a excellent job of stuffing the run on the first couple of Michigan drives. When it became a third and long situation, we played the pass and added a Travis Thomas blitz to rattle Henne, which resulted in an interception and a sack. Then Manningham went bonkers and this time Henne didn't blow it. Once the threat of the deep pass was present, we couldn't stack the box resulting in running lanes for Michael Hart to exploit...ball game.

My theory with the defense is this: We can beat one dimensional teams, regardless of which dimension it is. If a team depends on the run then we're going to stack the box for the first two downs and play to get them in a third and long where we can play pass. If we're up against a passing team, we're going to do what we did with Penn St and absorb the lack of run stopping and nullify the receivers. The problem for our defense is balance. We're not good enough to play both run and pass within the same game. I always dreaded the fact that all the talk of our "improved" defense was fool's gold, but denial is a powerful thing.

Don't get me wrong, the offense stunk too, but I'll get to that later. Actually, let me get to it now. Our offensive line sucks. Really, it's bad. Quinn has looked pedestrian, b/c he's having flashbacks of his freshman and sophomore year where we was well acquainted with the ground. Darius Walker can't break a consistent string of runs to save his life. I'm putting this on the line. It's been obvious that they are better suited to pass protect, rather than run block, but now they're having trouble pass protecting. Maybe Quinn is just holding the ball too long. Maybe Darius Walker simply isn't a good running back. Make no mistake, that Michigan defense was good, but there should be no reason for this offense to look like "that".

My theory is this: we were expecting the effects of Willingham's "exceptional" recruiting efforts to affect us next year, but the truth is that it's affecting us now. Coaching and schemes will only get you so far and while this isn't the smoke and mirrors of the Davieham era, against the really good teams it's not going to work out unless we have the right personnel on the field. We've been overacheiving this whole time. I'm starting to believe this more and more. And that's okay, b/c we have the right staff orchestrating this program. It's going to take time and more top notch recruiting classes. It would be naive to think we could wipe out almost a decade of bad coaches in a few years. That's the truth.

Don't take all that stuff up there as the white flag for the rest of the season. We're going to beat the teams we should beat, and I still see us getting at least nine wins and hopefully the bowl game depending on the opponent. This is merely and extreme exercise in pessimism. It's a self-dense mechanism so I don't get my NCAA football heart broken. Also, I'm avoiding ESPN like it's the plauge b/c I can't stand to see the smug face of Mark May as he's, more than likely, going on an "I told you so" rant. This where we hear how Notre Dame is overrated and all that other hoop-la that is really petty considering the sources of this talk were the responsible parties of our high stature in the preseason polls. I'll save this rant for another post, but I won't be watching ESPN for a week or a month, so if I miss anything, let me know.

Around the League

1) I know I said Troy Smith was the frontrunner after last week. Yeah, I'd like to rescind that comment and elect Adrian Peterson. This guy is literally carrying the Sooners and his back. Despite the absence of a passing game and the presence of a shaky offensive line, he was able to gain 200+ yards against a ranked oppoent in hostile territory. He saw the usual twenty man fronts and still gained 200 yards, and if he decided to kick field goals, they would have won a game they had no business winning. Adrian Peterson is a freak of nature and is the best player in college football. In all honesty, Troy Smith is probably still the front runner, b/c the has the benefit of playing for an [cring] excellent team, but Adrian Peterson is the best football player. Man, I'm fickle.

2) I find it hilarious that the media was deceived by the Miami/Florida State game. Did you really think that was great defense on hand instead of really terrible offenses? It took you that long to figure it out? And these clowns are getting paid for their "knowledge" of the game?

3) NCAA football games are lot more enjoyable when you have something invested in them. Say for instance, Pick'em games. During the Oregon game, I'm cursing the television and getting all upset when they fell back two scores then went nuts when they made their comeback (and yes, that onsides was bs. the Oregon player clearly touched the ball before ten yards). During the Clemson/FSU game, I nearly had a heart attack until Clemson made some craft play calls to win that game in the final minute.

The Asian Perspective (Michigan)

This weekend the University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish play host to the Michigan Wolverines. This heated rivalry has produced some hard fought matches and this week looks to be more of the same. Here are some thoughts on the upcoming battle:

1) This battle is going to be won on the trenches where the front seven and offensive lines of both teams are going to decide the outcome of the game. For ND's defense, the line has to protect the undersized linebackers from the montser offensive lineman of Michigan in order to neutralize the potent running attack led by Michael Hart. This year Michigan lineman have adopted a zone blocking scheme similiar to what the Denver Broncos have used under Mike Shannahan. So, far the results have leaded to impressive numbers (albeit againt weaker opponents) with the team averaging over 240 yds/game and MIchael Hart averaging over 5 yds/carry. The Notre Dame defense has seem shaky at times against the run, but were fortunate to play teams that relied more on a passing attack. Whether or not they lack of production against the run was a result in the scheme employed or reflects a deeper problem is a question that will be soon be answered. One thing to look is if Minter stays with the base 4-3 defense or decides to go with some hybrid nickle package that was employed during the Penn St game. There has also been talk of true freshman MLB Toryan Smith possibly contributing to the front seven (then again this could be me being all wishful and having this guy sure up what is a shaky linebacking corps).

On the other side, the ND offensive line is going to have to prepare for a defensive attack. After two games of tape on our offense, teams should be able to dechipher some kind of gameplan against us. The conversation had to go something like this:

"Okay, lets look at the Georgia Tech tape. Yep, you see how they're blitzing? It looks like Quinn is off balance. Yeah, seems like the pressure is getting to the QB and this offense looks fairly managable. Okay, here we go with last weeks game. You see how they're dropping back in coverage? They're really not putting much pressure, but they have a ton of guys there to defend the pass. Yep, this is absolute sh!t. Brady Quinn is picking this defense apart. You want to take a wild guess what the hell we're going to do this week? We're going to pressure this SOB and disrupt him every chance we get."

Well, that's what I think anyways. Penn St. showed that it's pretty worthless dropping back in coverage and hoping that Quinn won't be able to read whatever zone you throw at him. Michigan is going to show something similiar to what Georgia Tech did in order to disrupt the timing and the psyche of the offense. Remember, last year's lowest point total was during the Michigan game and though that was only the second game under Charlie's new system, it goes without saying that this Michigan defense is capable of slowing down our offense. The key will rest on the right side of the line where you have a true freshman (Sam Young) at tackle and Bob Morton at guard who has been awfully shaky in my opinion. If the line is able to give Quinn time, then we'll be okay, but if things start looking shaky like it did during the GTech then I'm afraid the Michigan offense isn't as forgiving as Georgia Tech's was.

2) Chad Henne can be the difference. Enough Michigan bloggers have b!tched about him, so it shows that he's capable of being really good, but he's been so wildly inconsistent that it has cost them a few games. Face it, he hasn't played well against us, but one blown coverage and a decent pass from Henne and that could be the ball game. With so much focus placed on the Michigan running attack, there will ample opportunities for Henne to exploit single coverage on the speedy receivers. Whether or not that comes to fruition may very well decide the ball game. Or Henne could continue to under throw and over throw his wide open receivers like he has the past two games against ND and then it's a moot point. Moving along...

3) Run, Irish, Run. The running game has been put on the back burner lately. The offensive line clearly is more suited for pass protection than run blocking, but the balance in offensive attack has to be present against this Michigan defense. Darius Walker has enjoyed much success against this team, so if he continues to play well then our offense should be in good shape. Call me old fashion, but I like a good run or two. Then again, I've seen enough runs up the middle to last me a lifetime. Like I said earlier, the game is going to be won on the trenches so our ability to control the pace of the game will be a good indicator of our success.

4) This will be far from a shootout. Michigan aims to play smash mouth, and we've been really good with time of possession. So, that doesn't leave a lot of time to go TD crazy. This is going to be a low scoring game and every single possession is going to be vital, especially if our run defense is as shaky as I fear it is. These games have been close in the past with the exception of the beatdown three years ago that we agree never happened. So, nobody is running away from anybody and this is going down to the final tick of the clock. Got it?

5) Close game, every possession counts...hmmm, then...yep, that's right field positioning is going to be key. Aren't we glad we have a punter that can boot it sixty yards? Special teams may tilt the scales in this game, so it's vital that the coverage teams contain Michigan returner Steve Breaston who has given us trouble before. On the flip side, if Zibby can bounce back and the kick returners show what they did during the Tech game, that would be super. For now, I'm going to say that ND place kicker, Carl Gioia, is okay will be able to do what is asked of him short of a fifty yard game winning field goal (eek!). The Michigan place kicker, (too lazy to look up name), apparently was/is (again, lazy) nominated for the Grozo, so he's got a boot. Can this decide that game? Sadly, yes, but we'll all cross our fingers that it never comes to this.

Bottomline, this is a huge game for both squads. Michigan has some pride they wish to restore after losing last year in the Big House, and having a big platform to proclaim their return to prominence after a dismal 7-5 season. For ND, this is probably the last marquee game they have before they hit the marshmallow soft part of the schedule (no, I'm not saying MSU is soft, but they're not marquee to pollsters, though I would disagree since those flag staking sons of b!tches deserve a galactic beat down of robotic genius levels but I digress). If they suffer a loss in this game, it will be hard to move up in the polls or computers on wins alone as beating the teams in the middle part of the schedule won't look too impressive. The only game that looks to be a real poll booster would be the final game against USC, which by then may be too little to late. Then again, this is me talking after only two weeks of football, when the landscape will be more defined after this week with so many ranked teams squaring off against each other. Regardless, a lot can be loss on this game alone so the stakes are high, even if it's only the third week of the season.

I expect a close game that will probably have me screaming at the television on more than one occassion. I've been preparing myself for a loss, but damnit, I think we can win so I'm going with the heart and have Notre Dame winning, 24 - 20.

Quickie UMich Preview

Here are some quick thoughts on the upcoming game:

1) Chad Henne. He decides the game. If he plays well and takes advantage of the stacked frontline we're going to toss at Hart and Grady, ND is in trouble. If he plays like he has on occassion being wildly inconsistent and inaccurate, then we can breathe easier. Make no mistake, the defensive gameplan is going to be to make Chad Henne beat us.

2) Efficiency from our offense is key. WIth the running attack and traditionally conservative playcalling from the UMich offense, Brady and Co. are not going to have many opportunities to score. So, it's vital that they make every possession count.

3) 4-3 or not 4-3? The Penn St. saw us in nickle coverage for most of the game, but that was due to the attention Minter wanted to give to the speedy recievers of Penn St. That also explains the success they were getting with their running game. This go round we switch the focus to the opposing running game, so logic suggests we go back to the traditional 4-3 set where one of the SAM linebackers has to step up and contribute to a front seven that must prove they can slow down a power running attack. Or do with stick with some hybrid nickle formation with three safeties where Zibby plays closer to the line of scrimmage and acts as the third linebacker.

4) Darius Walker has had great success against Michigan. Why should this weekend be any different?

5) Three-Loss Lloyd vs. Robot Genius. Yeah, that's a no brainer.

I'm currently on the fence here. Michigan faithful have been uncharacteristically pessimistic about the game, which leads me to believe that we should win this game easily. Lately, these games have been close and I'll be frank, that running game scares me like no other. Catch my prediction on The Asian Perspective (yes, it's a weekly thing every Thursday).

Penn St Post Game Analysis

I like to reiterate that I am in no way a college football expert. I call it how I see it and I love to rant. So, if anything strikes you the wrong way or seems off then feel free to call me up on it.

After watching the game from the senior student section and once again from the NBC recording the following night, here's what I saw:

1) Brady Quinn started off sharp, then had some mental lapses. Again, I was critical of his play and got a whole lot of "I'll take 70% passing any day." After rewatching the game from the NBC telecast, I realized why I was a bit hard on Brady (I know, like he cares). The two drives that resulted in field goals featured third down passes that could (and maybe should) have been intercepted, i.e. they were bad passes (I don't know if it was miscommunication or forcing the issue). There was also the pass to Carlson in the end zone that Brady over threw. Those three instances really stuck out to me for some reason and as a result clouded what was a very good game.

It's been said before, but those two passes to Carlson down the seam were brilliant. While Carlson's effort is commendable, make no mistake those were PERFECT throws. Aside from the two bad tosses I mentioned before, Brady never forced the issue and wisely took two sacks instead of throwing a floater that could have changed the course of the game. All in all, this is the Brady Quinn we saw last year. Opposing defenses can now shudder at their inevitable destruction.

2) The Two C's: Coaching and Conditioning. What more can we say about the job Charlie has done? The second TD pass to Rhema was a great playcall. I just know it was one of those calls where Charlie goes to Brady, "He's going to be open, don't screw it up." And sure enough, wide the f*ck open in the back of the end zone is Rhema. On the other side of the ball, there has been some great improvement from a squad that no one expected much of anything from. While there are some concerns about the D's ability to stop a power rushing attack (like say, Michigan's), this team is making people rethink whether or not ND deserves the ranking bestowed upon them.

For the second game in the row, the opposing defense is huffing and puffing while our boys are running around like gazelles in the Serengeti. This is no accident and Coach Mendoza has whipped the team in extraordinary shape. The one minute drill saw the benefits of this conditioning, as Brady Quinn and Darius Walker found themselves in the middle of the field but had the stamina and speed to get to the sidelines to stop the clock, while a very tired Penn St defense couldn't blitz and fell back into a soft zone coverage. My first reaction to the one minute drill was why Penn St wasn't blitzing, but just like GTech last week I realized it wasn't that they didn't want to, it was b/c they couldn't. Then there's Travis Thomas being able to play defense, then run forty yards on a fake punt, and following that off with that tough one yard touchdown for the dagger.

3) Coach. Weis. Huge. Man. Balls.

4) Victor Abiamiri got jobbed. What the Penn St offensive line was getting away with was simply criminal. On several passing downs, Abiamiri blew by the tackle only to have that poor bastard grab on for dear life in hopes of saving Morelli. No flag. Absolutely ridiculous. If it's not bad enought that Victor has to continually see double teams, he can't catch a freaking break when the opposition gets the benefit of the doubt from the officials.

5) Our safeties rock, yes both of them. Zibby is an absolute monster and had a highlight reels worth of hits and plays against Penn St and it goes without saying, he's the heart and soul of this D. The Duke's progression from Ted Ginn poster child to legitimate enforcer is remarkable. Credit the Maurice Stovall diet and the tutelage of defensive backs coach, Bill Lewis, for Ndukwe is becoming a playmaker on the D. He followed last game's shot on Calvin Johnson with a fantastic hit on Derrick Williams. Duke is everywhere on the field and his improvement combined with Tommy Z gives us two good (and possibly great) defenders in the safety positions.

6) I may have it in for him, b/c the guy talked some crazy trash to me during a Bookstore game, but hasn't Bob Morton been pretty lousy at right guard? On the second of consecutive sacks, Bob got beat badly on the inside by the defensive tackle and Brady had no chance but to take the sack on third down. And while the play resulted in a touchdown, why don't you take a look at screen play that Darius scored on as Big Bob Morton whiffs on a block. Ouch!

7) Tight End U. It's not official, but get used to it. We're going to have the top tight ends in the nation for the next decade or so.

8) The special teams was once a concern is looking to be more and more promising. The only thing I'm looking for is some consistency. We all know that Zibby is capable of better days as the punt returner (apparently it does make a difference which foot the punter kicks from, b/c the Penn St punter was a left footed). Gioia eased everybodies worries with two successful field goal attempts and 100% on the PATs. For the second game in a row [warning terrible pun alert] the Price has been right with a monster 63 yard punt that shifted the field positioning. The only thing Price has yet to show is controlling the shorter kicks in order to pin the opposition within their 15-10 yard line.

9) That's all I got, I've been fighting the effects of the long drive and sleep deprivation. I have more, but I just can't think up anymore and really want to focus my attention to this week's game.

Elsewhere in College Football Land

1) Ohio State (as much as it pains me to say) is the best team in the nation. They manhandled Texas and there really isn't anything left to say. People have been saying the Heisman is Brady Quinn's to lose, but Troy Smith looks to be the front runner having a marque win under his belt, ridiculous numbers (though Brady is not that far off), and he's playing for the best team in the nation. That offense is probably the best in the nation with the ability to go deep or pound it out with two solid running backs. The young defense is only going to get better. This is a scary team.

2) Mack Brown post Vince Young is going to be exposed for the hack he is. Sure he can recruit, but he doesn't have the otherworldly talents of Vince Young to bail him out. Make no mistake that the Texas team is as talented as any other team in the nation, but all those cries of disappointment and underacheiving are going to be heard from Austin once again.

3) The one drawback to being in the Bend for the football game is that I don't get to watch the rest of the games with the exception of the night games. So, I got nothing left. UMich preview coming soon.

The Asian Perspective (Penn St.)

This week the Nittany Lions of Penn St. visit the Fighting Irish of the University of Notre Dame. I'd crunch some numbers and do all that nasty stuff, then I realized I have a freakin' nine hour drive tomorrow fresh off the nine to five...errr, seven to four. So, let me offer a few jabs at what I'm expecting for this weekend's home opener.

1) I believe all the expectations for Notre Dame's first game against Georgia Tech will be met in this game. I think a combination of the road environment, nerves, and overwhelming hype got in the way of the players last week. This week they probably got their asses chewed out and should be more focused for this Saturday's game.

2) Penn St. offense doesn't scare me, b/c the one thing we can't do well (defend the run) they can't do well (under 75 yards rushing against Akron...AKRON!). Our D-line should be more effective and aggressive against the inexperienced Penn St. O-line. The threat of the QB scrambling is non-existent in this game, so the defensive line has no excuses this go round. The talented skill players for Penn St. should be cause for concern, but if the line can provide enough pressure, then Morelli should be shaken enough to make critical mistakes.

3) Brady Quinn comes out hot. I think a week of hearing how un-Heisman he was last week should fire him up enough. The secondary of Penn St. is ripe for picking apart.

4) The Penn St. linebackers are awfully scary but the rest of the D is relatively weak. Shouldn't expect to see too many screen passes against this D, but you can expect multiple wide receiver sets in hopes to get one or two of those linebackers off the field.

5) All in all, I expect a better game overall from the team. I'm hoping the SAM linebacker spot gets better, but that may be wishful thinking. It'll be interesting to see how the field goal kicker fares this time around, being as that is another concern this team faces. Regardless, the offense shows it's true colors and while Penn St. shows some bite, it's useless as the Irish roll, 35-17.